I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time

[awkwardgirl]

Oh right! This NaBloPoMo? It's about change. And I have been babbling on about the same old, same old. So here's a little something different:

~ My mom and I decided (and by that I mean my mom decided, and I just nodded my head in agreement) that we need more fruits and veggies in our diet, and that the easiest way to do that was to actually juice every single morning. My mom's had her juicer for years, it's a really nice one, and she luckily gave birth to a girlchild who loves freshly squeezed juice. (I dunno if my older brother likes juice, but his is a dirty hippie kid, and is therefore irrelevent. *grin* Also, he doesn't live here.) This morning was Day Two of the Great Juice Campaign, and it was ginger,spinach, carrot, apple, pear, beet, tangerine, celery, and tomato juice. YUM. If it wasn't for the fact that I really just LIKE the taste of meat, I could totally be a vegetarian (not a vegan, as I can't give up cheese. I dream about cheese. I go to SF, not only to see wingsofchaos but also to go to Cowgirl Creamery and buy, you guessed it, MOAR FRESH CHEESE. I did, however, have the most luscious batch of tiny vegan chocolate cupcakes from PCC once, that made me weep from sheer joy.)

~ I am not known for self-confidence. Shocking, I know! O.O I often feel my own failings and insecurities all too much and they can choke me until I'm sitting in the dark with a panic attack. At work, I play the loveable fool, where I hope that people feel as though being mean to me is like kicking a puppy (sadly, this doesn't stop some people. *le sigh*) But when I was the only acrylics tech in the lab, with just me and my boss, something changed. Last week, when everyone was finally back, I felt different. More capable. More confident. And I think people saw that. I didn't let stupid words bug me, and I did my job feeling like I was actually pretty good at it.

~ I have new friends! For someone who is shy and awkward and tends to fall over things a lot, this is a new thing for me. I had a lovely chat with mariamme last night. I've been comment spamming xtinethepirate and mcgarrygirl78. I found a kindred soul in isolabela (who totally gets the knitting thing.) I have added LOTS of dollie girls (you lovely ladies know who you are! *hugs* thanks for making me feel normal!) I've met funny souls like twofourteen who's posts make me giggle. Best of all, I've reconnected with aoibhe, who I will never let slip away again, even if I have to superglue myself to her side. There's the old friends, the ones who I've had in my life since I was 19 and wingsofchaos drug me, kicking and screaming, into Neopets and the Guild-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named, and straight into a bunch of of people who have become like family to me (I am looking at you, secretchristine. <3) Sleepovers and Vegas trips and SF weekends and weddings and NC roadtrips, full of not enough sleep and too much food and the perfect amount of laughter and love. (Can you all believe it's been 7 years? I know there's a couple of years tacked on for some of you before my time, but damn! WE ARE AWESOME.) I know that there are humans at the end of each computer, with unique stories and quirks and personalities, and I hope that is something that never changes. ♥

Comments

[twofourteen.livejournal.com]

Funny soul. Heheh.

[mcgarrygirl78.livejournal.com]

I love this post. I love the positivity and the joy and the fact that I get shouted out. Actually, 2009 has started on some serious shaky ground for me. Just when I thought I had it altogether the universe pulled a total psyche on me. I kinda blame 2008, as things I wanted to leave behing on December 31st at midnight decided nah, we really do need to come along and be resolved. Some was my own fault, some out of my control.

All of that to say.....yes, you are right. It is friends who have kept me from falling over the ledge. Friends who share my writing, my anger, my fandoms, my quirks and insecurities, my laughs, hobbies, and even my heart. Friends make the world go round and sometimes when I dont think I have anywhere else to go, I can come here and be understood and for someone like me, that means everything.

[schmedgar.livejournal.com]

Big Smooches my little wrennie bird. Just so you know, when Thori brought you into the guild I thought "oooh, she's talented and cool. She won't like me." So there.

[lildemented.livejournal.com]

Is not shy and awkward? SURVIVED ROOM WITH 500 CHINESE PEOPLE and the SCAREY AUNTIE. Can survive anything :P

[vomviersen.livejournal.com]

The fresh juice thing sounds absolutely wonderful. I tried and failed at becoming a vegetarian during umm... sophomore year in college, I think. I found that I simply cannot give up pork, in any of its forms, so that was a very short-lived attempt.

[ayida.livejournal.com]

I'm jealous of your juicing skillz, yo. Sounds like a wonderful day to start the day.

Self confidence is AWESOME! I totally fake it most of the time but as long as you're the only one that knows it's fake it totally works. You do just about anything with the right amount of confidence...and alcohol. Hm. Maybe that's not such good advice for everyone.

New friends are always a good thing. *snuggle* ♥

[heraldicrose.livejournal.com]

<3 you bunches !