Basically, it's been a crap day. Oh well. My father, in a rare and extremely unexpected burst of fatherly attention, built me a bed frame for my mattress. O.o;; Who is this man, and what has he done with my REAL father? So I sit on a REAL BED, with knitting, season one of The West Wing, and a little pictorial offering...

I'm gonna sing the Doom Song... )

[edit 9:19pm] And apparently our flight schedule has changed for AZ in June. -_- This? A happy birdie does not make. *le sigh* I AM SO GOING TO BED NOW. Freakin' a.
Spoilery comments on The Watchmen... )

Week...three? Four? Of the Great Constant Headache of 2009 continues. =P Keep hoping that Costco will call me today and say my glasses are ready. I am so sick of waiting. Nothing much else today, other than it's suppose to start snowing all this weekend (has already hailed and done a little snowing, but I can't tell if it's stopped or not right now.) I? Am also sick of snow. Spring nao pls? Or, better yet, JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE? Am off to finish weaving in the ends to the Shawl of Doom (finished! ZOMG HEE) and then wash and block it. YAY!
The Shawl of Doom is finished!! Oh man, that felt so good to say, I'm gonna say it again: THE SHAWL OF DOOM IS FINISHED. *flops*

Was gonna wash and block it tonight, but I am ZOMG so tired. Prolly this weekend. Expect pictures! ^_~
awkwardgirl: (Cast On)
( Mar. 1st, 2009 08:29 pm)
I just realized that I wanted to do the NaBloPoMo this month. So I guess that requires a post for the very first day of the new month, ne? It would sorta suck to blow it all the first day. =P

Today was good, until it wasn't. And then it really, really wasn't. I am stuck like a thing that is stuck. I guess that's why I've been so gung-ho about finishing the Shawl of Doom today (not quite, though I do have 8 out of the 12 end points finished) - I just want to finish something. Feel like I actually CAN accomplish something, that I'm not completely blocked, even if it's just something silly and unimportant. I sorta feel like this is a metaphor for my life:

This damn thing has taken me over three years. It is not even the slightest bit perfect, and it has been a struggle from the second I cast it on. I messed up practically on the first row. People, the first row only had like...3 or 4 stitches. How can someone mess THAT up? *raises hand* That would be me. There has been dropped stitches, and too many stitches, and then not enough. I've had to pull back and reknit and finally just ignore, all the while thinking, "Man, wouldn't it be nice to sail through a few rows without the slightest mistake?" And then bah, the numbers are wrong...yet again. Three years, you'd think that I'd get at least better at it, and nope. I'm pretty much the same blundering soul as when I started. And then, last night, the main body was finally. freaking. done. I just sailed through the end points today. But, in a moment of my usual sudden burst of cautiousness, I decided to brave the daunting number of stitches on my needle and actually COUNT them, just to make sure that I had the right number. And you know what? Instead of 300, I had 299. Now, I know that it could've been worse (even then, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I KEEP MANAGING TO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT NUMBER. Is it really me? Am I totally that stupid EVERY SINGLE TIME?) but it still had me wanting to throw the whole thing across the room, propelled by an angry "SON OF A BITCH!" I contemplated, right then and there, just ripping the whole thing out, winding up the yarn, and hiding it, pretending "Shawl? What shawl? I have no idea what you're talking about." Instead, I finished the point I was working on, started in the next, and did what I've done through out the whole thing: surreptiously add that missing stitch back. They'll never know.

There have been so many things that I've given up on. So many people, so many situations, so many dreams, and so many wishes. I've given up on my family, on my friends, on my co-workers, and mostly, on myself. I cannot, will not, give up on this damn shawl. It is only knitting, I have to keep telling myself, and no lives are at stake. It is not a life or death matter. And, no matter how much that one measly, missing stitch made me want to, it should not drive me to throw myself upon my knitting needles, hoping for a fatal wound. It'll get finished. Probably tomorrow. And I will wash it, and block it, and make it all nice and even, and try to hide as many mistakes as I can. Because even while it's one of the most imperfect things I've ever made, it is still soft and warm, and damn it...it's one more thing that I've managed to finish.
awkwardgirl: (Cast On)
( Feb. 28th, 2009 10:22 pm)
I had already shut down Vimes, my laptop, for the night a couple of hours ago...

...but I had to log back on. The Shawl of Doom? Which has been mocking me daily for over 3 years now? I HAVE FINISHED THE MAIN BODY OF IT. o.o Like... I even started the first little point on the bottom edge. Despite eye strain and new glasses and headaches and hurty eyes and some seriously Olympic-level procrastination... I HAVE PREVAILED. (Well, you know. Sorta. =P)

Pictures to follow. HEE. ♥
Well, I fangirl Penelope Garcia of Criminal Minds to the point of...well...possibly unhealthy proportions. =P I named a Pullip after her. And now? Now my face shall pay homage to her geek chic-ness. I'm not sure if I could ever pull off her adorkable quirkiness, but at least my face is giving it a fair shot. =P



I had a sort of epiphany last night whilst knitting one of the last rows of the main body of the Shawl of Doom. After taking some ib's after a mild headache from watching a movie, I settled down in bed to knit happily away, only to discover that my mild headache went from mild to blistering as I focused on what I was doing. And it hit me. Maybe it's not just fate or life or the universe that hates me and requires me to be in pain and miserable for it's amusement. No. Maybe, and this was as much a revelation for me as I'm sure it'll be for you all, maybe...it's my eyes. O.O Now, I haven't had an eye exam for at least 15 years. Probably closer to 17 or 18 really. I called up the Costco optical department this morning, and got an appointment for 11:20 today. Went in, had the doc peek into mah peepers, and discovered...I need glassses for things close up. My long distance vision is spectacular, he says, but close up things are making my eyes strained and unable to focus properly. So, mom and I grabbed my prescript, took over to the frames department, and looked for a pair of suitably geek chic glasses. They are so cute, y'all! All square and adorkable. Called Aztec Rose black/pink. I HAVE (sorta) PINK GLASSES. Have to wait around 2 weeks to get them, and my head is still killin' me, but there's, hopefully, a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't, in fact, an oncoming train. =P
.

Profile

awkwardgirl: (Default)
Wren

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags