awkwardgirl: (Ned D'oh!)
( Jan. 2nd, 2009 11:37 am)
So, after a harrowing trip to the hospital for my oft-rescheduled follow up appointment for my adrenal gland results (watched a freaking idiot tear out of a residental street and then fishtail and spin RIGHT IN FRONT OF US on the icy roads >< talk about heartattack), and getting the surgeon to literally draw me a picture about what they did and to learn IT'S NOT MY ADRENAL GLAND FRSRS THIS TIME NO I REALLY MEAN IT, I was off to make yet another appointment with yet another docter. A specialist ob/gyn, Dr. Towbin's "favorite", for my PCOS. I really really like Dr. Towbin. He didn't push surgery, he totally dumbs down the whole medical thing so I can understand, and he's just a very forthright, caring guy. So, I have my appointment set for Monday afternoon, and will see what this new guy says - whether or not I should take care of the PCOS with drugs (birth control or insulin), or opt for surgery (Towbin mentioned the "wedge" surgery, where they remove part of the ovary that is the most damaged and cyst-filled.) I don't know what I think anymore, but I'm a little depressed (well, a lot depressed, but that is perfectly normal for me =P) over all this. Getting an appointment so soon, though, helped a little. Since I'm doing this NaBloPoMo again this month, TALK ABOUT A WHOLE LOT OF CHANGE. *flops*

My friend, Christina, is taking me out tonight for my belated birthday, so while I'm all emo-ing out to Depeche Mode right now, I hope to snap back into a better frame of mind before she gets here.
awkwardgirl: (SHUTTHEFUCKUP)
( Dec. 2nd, 2008 07:04 pm)
So, the ovaries that I have? The ones that the ultrasound tech said were "perfectly normal," assuring me that my problems "weren't ovarian at all"? The ovaries that could in no way explain for my symptoms, according to my doc and one of her colleagues? Oh, you mean the right ovary that is almost twice the size of the other one (we're talking, the left one is around 5.1 cm. The right? Over 9 cm.) Yanno the one, it has all the cysts in it. THAT ovary. Riiiight.

They still have no clue what's wrong with me, but either way, it ends in surgery. I will find out at the end of this week about a procedure that I have to have done (filled with cathaters and sedation and checking blood for excess DHEA, and a day trip to the hospital! FUN!) and then the results of THAT will tell me if they remove my left adrenal gland, or half/all of my right ovary. There's more bitching, but after talking about it to my mom, the surgeon, the surgeon's assistant, his OTHER assistant, the girl at the radiology place, my mom again, and then my ohana, [livejournal.com profile] aoibhe and [livejournal.com profile] secretchristine (also known as Thing One and Thing Two) over the phone, I actually think I'm all bitched out.

So regardless of which internal organ gets ganked from my guts, I have PCOS, and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. It's not a horrible thing to have in the long run, I suppose, it's better than something like diabetes and insulin shots, but it's not even a little bit fun. At least I am Not Crazy in thinking that something has been wrong for YEARS with me, and the fact that I have pain all the time in my ovaries (like right now *sigh*) isn't just me projecting some strange brand of hypochondria on 'em.

In all honesty, knowing that there's an answer that I can see on the horizon makes me feel better. Although not by much. Still. I think I deserve to have a helluva birthday this year though, with all the crap I've been put through. (Okay, so that is also probably not gonna happen, but a girl can dream.) Depressed. BLAH!! BLAAAAAAH, I say. Am trying to keep laughing -- otherwise I will cry and that WILL NOT DO. I need ice cream. And movies. Barring that, a stiff drink and a half nekked Jensen Ackles serving it to me, pls & thx. =P

Today's Horoscope for Capricorn: You may feel on-edge today because you are being drawn into something new and you would prefer to hold on to the status quo. But living in the past isn't helpful when the future is approaching so fast. Accepting the fact that your life will change in very profound ways can be the first step to reclaiming your security and confidence.

...yeah, no kidding. =p

ps: The girl got my Greggia Pullip today. SO RELIEVED! And she left me a really nice message on my Dolly Market Feedback thread, so that made me smile. One less thing to worry over, yay!
.

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